Story of Life

I have never
loved anyone

Ly Hansen


We Made Love for Days

Your back arches upward
sweet woman of earth, do you know how beautiful you are?
These fingers, they dance downward across aching flesh
My mouth, seeking flavor
I find it there and 
oh, honey, please can I have it?

The beauty of your curves
how I seek to explore every solitary
Making you ache..
makes me ache.

Lips hover closely over flesh as 
ragged breath fills the air
I want to crush you to me
fill you

this love it swells inside me
like water pouring over an edge it crashes on us
lovers entwined like vines

I want your taste to linger
I want you to leave your marks on my shoulders
to feel your
wrapped around, tugging closer

More places than one
we entwine and combine love with lust

we are swept away together

Your sweet taste lingers
and inside I feel you lock around my
pushing ever further to the heart of you
I'm seeking treasure no one has found

I know you so well, every muscle and nerve
and that place that makes your voice cry out 
as you thunder, quake, crash against
beneath me
slowly grinding down
as your heart crashes against your ribs
and your eyes roll into the blackness of your eyelids
and you cry out my name in love

tears in your eyes, you crush me to you and whisper
"Oh baby, I love you so much, I love you"
and we kiss like this is the last time we will ever make love.

I whisper my love against damp flesh
and my sweet woman of earth
we made love for days.

Ly Hansen


Erin Leigh Hansen

Hey Mom?
I can't sleep tonight.
Do you remember coming into my room
when you couldn't sleep
and jumping on my bed that late night?
You woke me up with laughter and a plea,
"yeah, I'll come sit with you."
Some conversation while you had a smoke.

Did you know, you were my best friend?
Did you know how beautiful you were?

We don't talk about you much
I'm ashamed to say.
I'm trying my best.
It's been 2 years.

My chest burns a little when I think about you
he took the pictures down, except for a few.

It's only been 2 years.
Has it really been 2 years?
Almost, anyway.

I wonder...why did it happen so close to
I wonder...why did it happen?

Winter seems darker without you
There's a knot in my throat.

Did you know, they didn't even mention me in your eulogy?
I guess the "step" in stepdaughter means
I was a step down.

You know, I think everyone knew we were best friends
How else can you describe two people who
knew every little secret, laughed at all the right things
like the person who fell on the stairs
and swung upright to the other side of the railing
"Woop!" you sounded, and we fell together in laughter.

It resonates in all my memories of you
all the good ones, anyway.
I wish I could hear you laugh again.

Hey Mom?
I can't sleep tonight
I'm crying a little
and my throat aches, burns
I'm afraid to call out to you
because I know you're gone
2 years too long.

Ly Hansen


Conversation Piece

(do you wanna come home?)
(how bad?)
(tell me...i need to hear you)
very bad.
it hurts sometimes.
(all the time?)
i hurt all the time.
i'm lost.
i hurt all the time.
(come home)

Ly Hansen



Little girl with the long hair
you are unfamiliar to me
you feel as distant to me as the ocean.
I don't remember who you were
I don't remember you
Any recollection I have is foggy
although I remember

sitting on top of my play house
singing Madonna, loudly
or the secret panel of carpet
where we hid things away from everyone else
like the Daffy Duck figurine
or secret notes to the girl I had a crush on.

Who was I?
that little girl, she's like a stranger
do normal people
forget their childhood?

I wonder what you would think of me now
little girl, little me
who I have become
who we have become

If I sat next to you as you
shoved your fingers in the little blue holes on that bench
and told you all we were going to experience
all the times you would laugh, cry.
I would tell you that nothing lasts forever
and you would forever be the person
I was trying to get back to.
Your name to me now
is innocence, bliss.

I wonder in some alternate universe
if there's a little girl
who looks just like me
young forever, with Peter Pan's lost boys
living happily.

I wonder if you'd believe me
if I told you everything we are now
if you'd believe me when I told you
I still don't know who I am
who we are, and that
you...little Lisa, probably knew more then
about us
about me
than I know about me now.

Little child with a heart unopened
unbruised, unbroken
Little child, little me
I miss you.

Ly Hansen


My Only Question

I miss waiting for your plane to land
wringing my hands together nervously
eagerly (but calmly) resting against the wall
adjusting my tie several times
searching the oncoming faces for yours
until you fly into my arms
quaking like a leaf.

We had these plans
I hate to let them go.
Are you coming home?

Ly Hansen



Our clumsy hands keep reaching
for one another, trudging through the quicksand
Don't you see, it's swallowing us whole?
That desperation, that plea deep inside us both
is poisoning us.

We've been fighting for this for so long
I look at our future, I used to see
Now I begin to think
it could always be like this

struggling like weights in mud
trying to move trying to get back
to you
only to find when I finally crawl
to the edge of the quicksand
there's nothing to grab onto.

And that's okay
maybe this obstacle
maybe this time God's saying
"look at what you're doing"

maybe He's telling me
"the time isn't right, yet."
maybe it's too soon
too little to run away with
too few reasons to run away to

It's not severing, you see
it's not letting go
it's readjusting it's reassessing
it's postponing the final date.

I postpone these dreams
these wishes this desire I had
to return home to
the desert
to our shadows splayed in the sand.
The time
isn't right.

I postpone my reaching for the stars because
if it's this hard to get back to you
if we keep tripping over every dip in the sand
can we find our footing when
the hammer falls?

I feel content in knowing
I have you
we still remain
painted in the desert
shades of something

We have these dreams, we're so eager
we've run over each other
trampled one another
trying to get to the other
without even realizing

we threw logic out the window
let gravity pull us where it would

my impulses told me to go
but now my logic tells me
it's time to open my eyes
and see that
it's not time to go

If the time is right
the shades will combine, intertwine
without having
to fight all of heaven and earth
to get there.

Ly Hansen